altered books, selling stuff on ebay and restored health
my favourite from the "dog II book aka fortaleza" is this one:
the book has been very well prepared by margaret orr and so it was a pleasure working with it. then there were two moleskine journals "nobody knows the truffles i've seen" by kanchan which were hard to deal with because the paper is so soft and doesn't like glue. my favourite from those is this here so far - another one, which i may like even better, is still drying:
the first one i worked on was "stoned soul picnic", an altered children's board book where each page is split in half and can be combined with different upper and lower halves. this is what one of my spreads looks like:
otherwise i am selling as many things as i can on ebay at the moment as i need more money and less stuff. if anyone is reading this and wants to buy something from my artwork - you are welcome to contact me.
greed, finances, disappointment, polaroids
as i have logged in here i might as well write something.
actually, i might use this as some sort of journal - and isn't that what blogging's all about?
yesterday i got a quite huge tax bill which i had to pay immediately, so it will be pasta and pesto for the rest of the month. moreover i got to know that my future ex-husband filed a complaint against his paying of half the sum for these taxes, so i might end up paying all of it, whereas he gladly accepted half of the refund of last year and the year before that.
which made me think about morals.
an action performed in good intention - that's what i accept as a definition.
artwise i am trying out polaroid photography, but i will have to experiment a bit further to get the knack of it. i'll show you two pieces, though:
this is my very first pola, photoshopped though. first i thought the camera doesn't work but then a friend gave me an old filmbox, i tried it out and found that it must have been the film that was too old. so i got me a new one and got this here:
this is also photoshopped, but just adding contrast and depth in colours. i feel i might get addicted to that. but the film is quite expensive and at the moment ....
well, you can start reading from the top again.
do i really want to start blogging again?
don't know yet. most of all because i don't know if anyone at all is reading this. so if you do, please leave me sign.
love
spiders
I started fighting them late this year
and what with the mild winter and dry summer
they are everywhere now
the thing has gone out of hand this time
visitors, neighbors, relatives, it has become everyone
so I am forced to do something
love me, love my spider webs is not an option anymore
I feel bad plugging in the Hoover
it‘s not me, I think, I am forced to do something
they are sucked into the steel tube one by one
roughly 1.3 meters between my hand and the killing hole
I start thinking about futility,
about the detachedness of killing
gas chambers and the holocaust
about how contrary to popular cultural belief
there‘s always an easy way out, babe
about how I don‘t step up to people to say
I hate you
I‘d rather keep the spiders and do without you
the easy way out: using the passive voice
they are killed, they are sucked in, I am forced
and that‘s when grasping the reason for my life-long addictions
comes into reach once more
I would give myself a hard bruise right now
if I was that kind of person
to be subject of one‘s own actions
active voice - reflective voice
for a lack of natural enemies, probably
I leave the house, go into the woods, put my hand into this huge anthill
- when I get back home
my kids are dancing barefoot to some Beach Boys tune
it smells of coffee
I hide my red swollen hand
and the perspective changes once again
but I still don‘t understand a thing about this life
day 143
run run run run run run
lungs pumping
--------- oxygen -----------
the sound of my soles on the ground
soft needle-covered ground
it is still cool outside
sun rays slanted sideways
painting golden patterns
run run run run run run
my mind emptying itself
getting back into shape
greeting the foxes the deer
and all the feathered ones
it has been a long winter
of heart-ache, loss and darkness
getting back into shape
run run run run run run